i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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