May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
