Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
