Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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