I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
