I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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