You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
