He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
