All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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