So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
