i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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