I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
