She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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