Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
