His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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