I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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