Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
that's an acceptable place to lick
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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