Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
