He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
