Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
