you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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