Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
another moral hangover. fuck.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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