I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
