Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
