So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
