how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
