I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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