oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
