so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
