Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
