So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This is classic penis vs brain.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize