did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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