im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Randomize
