Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
