So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
