dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
