Where did you get a picture of my penis
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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