Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You are a genius and a whore.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
