Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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