This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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