I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
