Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
