Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
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His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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