Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
