just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we're making bets on your personal life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
