I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize