Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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