my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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