My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
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Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.