I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
