I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just found puke in my bra..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
