I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize