Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
