I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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