How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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