If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
