After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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