Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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