I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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