I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize