Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize