I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
