the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
